The I Team

The I Team
It's not the news, it's better!

Monday, February 28, 2011

Short Sellers Flee Market

CNN Headline - 2/24/2011

Los Angeles, CA – Today one of the country’s most prestigious clothing markets encountered quite a unique situation.  At the Los Angeles Fashion Market, a distributor by the name of JortVC, a branch of the QVC network stormed out of the spring showcase after an argument with event coordinators about floor placement.  What is usually a week of high end fashion designers showcasing their new fall lines turned into what some would call a child’s temper tantrum. 
A Spokesman from the fashion market, Cristoff Wigglesworth, had this to say when asked about the incident,  “The group from JortVC had much different views on how much floor space they should have received for this week’s event.  Since this was their first year at the show they received the standard amount of space for what we call, “rooks.”  When I showed them to their allotted space the director from JortVC had a few choice words for me, then proceeded to flop on the floor like a five year old whining to her mommy.”  Little tiffs between different vendors happen every year, the difference between this incident and any other misunderstanding, was what JortVC demanded of the fashion market.  JortVC demanded that they get prime placement on the floor, the kind of floor space reserved for the likes of Versace, Gucci, Ralph Lauren, and designers of top tier caliber.
When asked how such a small distributor of denim shorts was allowed access to a prestigious event such as the Spring Fashion Week, Cristoff had this to say.  “I haven’t the slightest idea.  I promise when I found out who allowed those foul mouthed hillbillies into my event; they will wish they had never heard of words Jean or Shorts.”
We caught up with the Director of JortVC, Butch Huntington.  “It’s their own loss; those stuck up snobs.  They are really losing out on an opportunity of a life time.  To get a hold of America’s next big thing.  Jean F***ing Shorts man!!   We sell premium top o’ the line denim in all sorts of different looks.  We even got the ones that have that loop thing for a hammer.  Heck every single day I use that little looper.  Put all sorts of junk in it.  Man oh man they don’t know what they are missing.”  Rambled Butch.  This quote actually went on for about ten more minutes but became nearly impossible to understand due to me being incapable of comprehending such a deep south dialect.  There was also far more chewing tobacco on my shirt than after any conversation I’ve had with anyone in my entire life.
JortVC is a division of the popular home shopping network QVC.  They were founded in 2009 and are a small distributor of Jean Shorts.  They were founded with a crazy notion that jean shorts or “Jorts” were making a comeback among young consumers.  The reality is that there isn’t a very large demand for Jorts and only a few demographics in the country regularly purchase them, African American’s and Hillbillies.  Think about it, who do you know that still wears jean shorts anymore? Maybe people in Rural Iowa and the Inner cities of major metropolitan areas.  That’s it.
      -Sean Furlong

No comments:

Post a Comment