The results of the latest Nielsen Ratings were released yesterday and caused quite a stir amongst television executives from New York to Los Angeles. The ratings showed a significant drop in primetime television viewership, a trend many experts attribute to increased iPad use, mainly: time spent reading on the iPad.
The iPad, Apple’s latest technological gizmo, was one of the most popular gifts over the holiday season and many new owners are still figuring out what to do with the hand-held computer. Popular culture analyst Chadwick Volrath adds, “Millions of people were given iPads for Christmas, Chanukah, or Kwanza and now that the initial thrill of having something bright, new, and shiny has worn off, these same people are left to wonder what to do with their gift. So what do they do?" Volrath annoyingly answers his own question, "Well, with nowhere else to turn, they start to read on it."
America’s new infatuation with reading has TV executives bustling to catch up with the new trend. One possible solution has been used already on TV for years. Steve Mays, a demographic market specialist at Cartoon Network, offers his take on the dilemma, “I have to give kudos to stations like ESPN and CNN. Man, those guys sure were ahead of the curve. They’ve given viewers the opportunity to read at the bottom of the screen for years now.” Mays, like many of his peers, was taken aback by the recent surge of literate, tech-savy Americans, “Honestly, I thought Tivo and DVR would do away with reading for good,” Mays says. “But the little bitch just won’t go away. I guess once you put words on a computer screen, suddenly everyone wants to read again. It’s like 1440 all over.” Mays of course is referring to the year Johannes Gutenberg invented the printing press and forever changed the way we read. Much like the crisis television faces today, Americans in 1440 were drawn away from more classical forms of entertainment, such as animal fights, people fights, or rock throwing, and instead opted to spend their time inside reading words off freshly printed papers.
While the threat of reading has many network executives running for the hills or scrambling to emulate their logophilic brethren, a handful of executives aren’t as worried. “No. No, I’m not worried,” says Public Access 18’s VP of Timeshare Marketplace, James Hirdt. “Once people realize they’re spending their free time reading, an activity you could easily do everyday in school if you wanted to, they’ll stop and come home to what they know, what they love: TV.”
Hirdt may have a point. A 2009 study conducted by Oakton Community College students found that over 50% of Americans claim to have been raised by television, one way or another. “Whether you learnt how to bake cookies with Martha Stewart, buzz a buzzsaw with Tim Taylor, or found religion through one of them televangelists on any channel between 13-25, TV is at least a little responsible for molding and shaping everyone of us” claims Shamika Taylor, 19, and one of the five students in the small group that conducted the study. “Sooner or later we gonna come home. We always come home, it’s basic animal instinct,” concluded Taylor.
Hirdt, for one, agrees with Taylor’s sentiment. “I don’t care if its on a book, an iPad, a laptop, or a gloopyflip,” Hirdt says, glossing over a word he either just completely made up, or one of the worst names ever given to any invention. “Sometime soon,” he continues, “you’re gonna get sick of reading and want to come home. This is America. Fads come and go, and I’m sure people will get sick of this new reading fad pretty quick. This is the country that brought the world Easy Mac, moving walkways, and Twitter. People don’t have the patience to read full sentences, let alone paragraphs or stories. Hell, I bet at least half the people that started reading this very article have quit by now.” Hirdt’s right. Even I can no longer focus on what’s being said in this article, and I’m the one writing it. Some people may choose to read forever, but I’m gonna go watch TV.
- Pete Higgins
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