National Parks Try to Appeal to Minorities

NY Times Headline - 9/6/13

JACKSON HOLE, WY – Sociologists all agree that someday soon our whole country is going to flip. Football will become fútball, the 4^th of July will become the 16^th of September, ice cream will become gelato, and minorities will outnumber majorities.  And nowhere is preparation for this culture shift more prevalent then in our country’s national parks.

Minorities must be accounted for, and changes need to be made to accommodate their interests. Steve Winowski, Game Warden at the Chequamegon National Forest in northern Wisconsin, says he and his staff have already begun making changes. “Well, right off the bat we tripled the number of grilling locations we offer, and have accompanied each site with a solid metal trash can to empty embers or throw away Wonder bread wrappers. We’ve cut down more trees this year then any other year I’ve been here in anticipation of the make-shift volleyball nets we expect to go up once the minorities arrive. We’ve also set up a few air-conditioned shacks with high-speed internet access throughout the park so we can try to cater to all sorts of minorities.”

The minority infusion is by no means limited to the Midwest. Larger, more well known national parks face even bigger challenges while they prepare for waves and waves of minorities.

“Old Faithful can’t just be a geyser anymore. Now it’s part geyser, part water park ride. Groups of up to four sit in an inner-tube around it, and are blown 15-20 feet in the air every time she erupts,” says Daniel James, head of the newly formed Unexpected Public Relations division of Yellow Stone National Park. “We were told minorities love water parks, and we want to make sure Yellowstone continues to be the popular family vacation destination it always has been”

The parks themselves aren’t the only areas expected to experience significant change. Government officials anticipate a spike in the local economy of towns near national parks, as more minorities means new jobs are opening up in and around parks.

“Right now we’re borrowing about 3 dozen pushcart ice cream vendors from the Denver area, but we hope to have our own permanent and sustainable group of pushcart vendors by the end of the fall,” James says. “We’ve always had locals selling produce out of their trucks around town, but with so many minorities expected this year we’re trying to expand into selling fruit and flowers out of the back of pick-up trucks as well. Oh, and we’re currently trying to find some of those guys that walk around with backpacks of bootlegged DVDs. It’d be nice to scatter a few of them throughout Yellowstone”

In order to further appeal to minorities, specifically minority children, other parks are reaching out to coastal boardwalks in hopes of attracting hair-beading, temporary tattoo, and face painting specialists. Aside from activities, new sorts of foods are popping up at national parks in an effort to whet the appetite of minorities and draw them to park snack shops.

“Hot dogs and burgers have always been our #1 seller,” says John Sullivan, Food Coordinator at Acadia National Park in Maine. “And while I don’t expect that to change drastically, we’ve added much more diversity to our menu recently. Churros, couscous, egg rolls, and all different kinds of chicken are now being offered at all three of our park’s dining locations. We don’t know much about minorities here in Maine, but our research indicates this should be a huge success.”

While most parks are undergoing massive makeovers to appeal to masses of minorities, some parks are dubious such a change will occur at all. “I’ve worked here 46 years,” says Great Smoky Mountain National Park Ranger, Phil Hardley, “and I’ve never seen a Mexican or Chinese fella anywhere near here. I once saw a black guy and his family at the front gate, but I couldn’t tell if they were asking about the park or for directions.  We only get about 2 dozen white folk here a year anyway, so I don’t see what the big hubbub is all about. People seem to prefer videogames and shopping malls these days instead of parks. I don’t know, maybe I’m just naïve.”

Pete Higgins